Love and Hate
by Lady Sage
Summary: Hotohori decides it's finally time to get over Miaka and choose an empress. Meanwhile, Chisa is a member of the imperial harem who just wants to go home... R/R, please. PLEASE people! I need to know what you think!
1. A nightmare and a meeting by the pond

First of all, I gotta deal with the basic stuff…  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, except for Chisa!! She's mine, all mine! *maniacal laughter*  
  
Author's notes: Okay, I have a tendency to switch around situations to suit myself. I know, I'm awful. But I get these ideas that don't work with the present sitch, so I have to do something, or go nuts!! That is, more nuts than I already am…^_^; So I suppose you could call my fics AU, but please, don't flame me about the existence of Houki, the fact that Hotohori-sama died, etc., etc. Also, I'm kinda dropping this into the middle of things, so PLEASE don't complain about inconsistencies with the series!! Anybody who does gets a very temperamental, sharp-tongued, and just plain mad response from me, cuz I get mad reeeeaaaaal easy. So, with all that aside, let's get going!  
  
"Your majesty, I am begging you! You must choose a wife!"  
  
"I am sorry, but I have no interest in marriage at this time. I am concerned with summoning Suzaku and ruling my kingdom only," Hotohori told the advisor once again, this time a bit of irritation creeping to his voice.  
  
"Your love for the Priestess is unrequited, your majesty! It is time to get over her!" the advisor snapped.  
  
"Wha…How do you know of my feelings for the Priestess? And how dare you speak to me with such insolence?"  
  
"How do I know? Why, Hotohori, you told me!" The advisor's voice grew strangely high. "And now I'm telling you, you can never have me! I love Tamahome, not you! I'll never love you!" The advisor's face, which had been obscured in shadow, became visible. It was Miaka! "I hate you, Hotohori!"  
  
"What?! But Miaka…" Hotohori had never been spoken to like that. He was at a loss. "Miaka, I love you…" He reached out for her.  
  
She backed from his touch. "I hate you, Hotohori!" she repeated. "Don't ever speak to me again!" With that she ran towards her room.  
  
"No!" Hotohori gasped. "No! No…" He began to weep. "But Miaka… I love you…"  
  
He woke with a gasp. "A nightmare…only a nightmare…" He was trembling and sweating.  
  
"Your majesty? Is something wrong?" a voice asked from outside the door to his private chambers.  
  
"No, I am quite alright," he assured the servant. He couldn't allow himself to be seen like this by a servant. But as he dressed, he thought about his dream. He was aware that Miaka did not love him as he loved her, but he continued to hope that someday, somehow she would love him back. Perhaps Suzaku sent him this dream for a reason. Maybe it was time to give up on Miaka. Maybe it really was time to choose a wife.  
  
~**~  
  
Chisa leafed through her wardrobe. As her fingers felt the stiff, starched fabric of each gown, she made a face of disgust. She hated dresses, especially the gowns they made her wear at court. They were so uncomfortable…she could never move in them. Ah…there they were. She stripped off her robe, and pulled on her men's clothes, feeling the worn fabric that she had grown so used to.  
  
As she walked past the vanity, she glanced in the mirror, and paused to study herself. She was a pretty girl, with wavy, dirty-blonde hair down to the middle of her back. She was slender, and a bit short, only 5'3". Freckles dotted her nose, and her eyes changed color with her clothing and moods, but were mostly blue. She was aware that she was rather vain, but considered it justified. After all, you don't get picked to be in the emperor's harem by being homely.  
  
She glanced around furtively for any servants that might tattle on her, especially that guy who had been hounding her recently. Satisfied that there was no one there, she sneaked out to her favorite part of the palace. It was a meadow, with hills, wildflowers, a large pond and an overhang over the pond. She took a deep breath and grinned broadly, cartwheeling down the hill. At the bottom of the hill, she flopped onto her back and laughed. But it was a hollow, empty laugh. Chisa's eyes grew pensive. I wonder how everyone is doing. If they got the money I sent, if everyone's okay and healthy…The only reason she put up with this Suzaku- forsaken place was so she could get money to send her family. She hated almost everything about it, except for maybe the food. She especially hated the people. She had been constantly harassed by the male servants, until she let them know she was not one to be trifled with, basically by beating their asses. Now all the servants, even the women, treated her like a wild animal. The other women of the harem were stuck up, and snubbed her, making fun of her behind her back for her tomboyish nature, and calling her country backwater trash. But most of all, she hated the emperor. She had never spoken to him personally, but her present situation was all his fault. She held a major grudge against him. She missed the people back home, especially the neighbor boy. They were so warm and friendly, willing to share and teach her things, despite their own poverty.  
  
"Hello there," a male voice called down to her from the overhang. Chisa looked up swiftly. The man was young and absolutely gorgeous, and had long black hair and amber eyes. "Are you a member of the imperial harem?"  
  
"Yeah. Why?" It had been so long since anyone had spoken to Chisa with a friendly tone.  
  
"Are you aware that the women of the harem aren't allowed here?"  
  
Chisa's eyebrows snapped together. "Yeah, so?" she retorted defensively. "You gonna report me?"  
  
"Of course not. Simply wondering if you were unaware." The man jumped down from the overhang. "My name is Seishuku. And you are…?"  
  
"My name's Chisa. It's a pleasure to meet you," she smiled. It would be nice to have someone to talk to. "So, what brings you here? Not many people come here, besides me."  
  
"This is one of the most beautiful areas of the palace. I rarely get time to enjoy my surroundings, but when I do, I like to come here." Seishuku smiled. "Besides, it is nearly as beautiful as me."  
  
Chisa facefaulted. "Boy you're vain! Besides, nothing and no one is prettier than my mother. And I look exactly like her," she hinted. Then she suddenly grew silent. She had discovered at court, you're generally expected to be polite when you first meet someone, and be more casual once you get to know them. She hadn't even known this man an hour, and already she was treating him like they had known each other for years. But when Seishuku replied, "Then I must meet your mother, and see if I have competition for being the most beautiful person at court," Chisa smiled, relieved. Maybe she would finally have a friend here. "You'll meet her, someday, maybe. Depends on if you're a good boy or not." She grinned wickedly.  
  
Ending notes: Woo-hoo! Got the first chapter done, finally!! By the way, the man is Hotohori. Seishuku is his real name. I'm just saying in my version of the FY world, their real names aren't generally known. Ja! And REVIEW!! 


	2. A potential new empress and a reunion be...

Author's notes: Wow, I just finished and posted my first chapter today, and I'm already working on the second chapter! I'm just feeling so inspired and industrious! ^___^ Anyway, REVIEW!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaassssssseeeeeee…I'd love you forever and ever!!! Oh, and Pokemon fans, read the ficcie by Mito! (If you review it, say that Caity told you too…^_^) She's one of my online BFFs, and I want to promote her fic! Anyway, here we go!  
  
Hotohori had been cornered by his faithful-but-persistent advisors. "Your majesty, have you chosen an empress yet? The danger has been growing, and we need you to produce an heir!"  
  
"Have patience," he replied calmly. "I believe I may have found the one…I just need some time, first." He sweatdropped as his advisors started cheering, and even crying with joy. "Hooray! His Majesty has finally found an empress!"  
  
He smiled. It had been a month since he had met Chisa, and they had grown quite close. He found himself constantly sneaking off to visit with her, skipping court functions and such. Though he told her little about himself, she didn't seem to mind. She had opened herself up to him completely, relaying stories of her home, telling him of her feelings about life at court. She proved to be very affectionate, constantly hugging him, and saying "I loooooooooooove you," over and over. He realized she was not serious when she said that, but still… It had also become apparent to him why she was feared by the servants. She was an impressive martial artist, as well as a skilled archer. She had expressed interest in learning to handle a sword, and he was considering teaching her. He smiled to himself. Yes, perhaps she returned her feelings. If she did, he would make her his empress. That is, if he could figure out why she held such a grudge against him as the emperor, but not him as Seishuku.  
  
He sighed. It was going to be easy, but somehow, he would manage. But he couldn't worry about that right now. Now he had to worry about what to wear for the feast…  
  
~**~  
  
Chisa grumbled under her breath. There was a feast tonight, and all the members of the harem were required to attend. That meant putting on one of the gowns she hated so much.  
  
She was in a bad mood as she walked to the dining hall. Although she had chosen the most comfortable dress that looked good on her, she was still itching and hot. The dress was midnight blue and simply cut, but the material was stiff and scratchy, probably because she had never worn it before.  
  
She heard some people talking on a road that was just on the other side of some bushes. Normally she ignored such conversations, but something caught her attention. One of the voices was familiar…a voice from her past…  
  
~**~  
  
"Miaka, would you stop obsessing over what's going to be in the banquet?" Tamahome said, slightly exasperated with his girlfriend's obsession with food.  
  
"But Chinese food is so yummy! And there's sure to be a lot of it… Do you think there's going to be orange chicken?" Miaka bubbled on exuberantly.  
  
"How the hell should I kn-" Tamahome stopped in mid-word. There was someone there, listening to them. "Who's there?!" he shouted, ready to defend himself and Miaka.  
  
A midnight blue streak shot out of the bushes, shrieking, "Kishuku!!!!" Tamahome paused, startled, and he was knocked down, tumbling end over end with the midnight blue figure. They soon became invisible because of clouds of dust.  
  
When the dust settled, the figure proved to be a pretty girl in a midnight blue gown, which was now completely ruined. She sat on Tamahome's back pinning him to the ground. "Kishuku!" she shouted. "Why didn't you *tell* me you were here? Why are you here anyway?" Tamahome didn't respond, probably because his face was being pressed into the dirt. "What, you're not going to reply to your bestest best friend since childhood? Fine then!" She crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue.  
  
Tamahome, finally able to get up, stood. The girl shrieked as she tumbled off his back. "Chisa? What are you doing here?"  
  
She looked back at him stubbornly. "Answer my question first."  
  
"Fine, be like that. I'm here because we're gathering the Seven Seishi of Suzaku. Now answer my question."  
  
"What, you can't accept that I'm her of my own free will?" Chisa said innocently  
  
"No," Tamahome replied flatly.  
  
Chisa sighed. "Dammit, Kishuku, you know too damn well. Fine, fine. I was chosen to be in the emperor's harem. But I'm only here so I can get some money for my family. It really is a misery here. I've been here *forever* and I only made a friend a month ago." Tears began to well up. "Now I find out that *you're* here…" It was only then that she noticed Miaka. "Hey, Tama-chan, who's this? Your girlfriend?"  
  
Miaka smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Chisa! I'm Miaka, Tamahome's fiancé!"  
  
Chisa's eyes grew large. "Fian…ce?" she said, at a loss. With that, the tears spilled over and she hugged Tamahome.  
  
"What…what's wrong?" Tamahome gasped, startled by his friend's reaction.  
  
Chisa looked up into his face. "I'm so happy for you! I'm happy…and jealous. No, not like that," she snapped, seeing Tamahome's face. "You've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Someone you'll devote yourself to completely, body and soul, who will return your devotion. I, the hopeless romantic, haven't found anyone yet, but you, the practical moneygrubber, have." She turned to Miaka. Her eyes were red, but she smiled. "Congratulations. You managed to get yourself one of the best guys there is around. If you promise to treat him right, you two have my blessing."  
  
Miaka was left momentarily speechless by this whole speech, but quickly recovered. "Thank you," she said, smiling. "I promise."  
  
Chisa smiled. "Good, or else I would have stolen my Kishuku-chan away." She looked down. "Gack!" she squawked at the state of her dress. "Now I'm gonna have to put on *another* dress- and this was the most comfortable one!" 


	3. A confession and an agreement

Author's notes: Wow, I'm just not stopping. I keep getting all these great ideas. Last night, around midnight (I was up so I could tape Outlaw Star), I got this fabulous idea for the next chapter, and I just *had* to write it down! And now you're reading that flash of inspiration. Well, you will be when I stop rambling.  
  
Oh yeah, I got a review! Yay! Thank you CLAMPraven! I'm very flattered that you think Chisa is shaping out to be an okay character. Now, everyone, inspire me further and write some reviews! One just isn't enough! *looks at everyone with pleading puppy dog eyes* Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase? In your reviews, please include a) compliments, b) criticism (but read my notes on the first page before you criticize), and c) encouragement. Come on people! Suggestions might also be welcome.  
  
  
  
Hotohori walked to the meadow where ha and Chisa usually met. With luck, she would be there. He had something very important he wanted to ask her. When he reached his destination, however, she was nowhere in sight. Disappointed, he leaned against a tree and sighed. When a face dropped down to stare into his, he yelled and jumped away, startled.  
  
"Hey there, Seishuku! What's up?" Chisa swung herself from the branch and flipped through the air, only to land on her butt. "Owww…" she whined, wincing, then turned to grin at Hotohori. "How'd you enjoy that incredible display of talent, beauty, and unbelievable klutziness? Ooh, you have your sword. Are you going to teach me like you promised?"  
  
Hotohori smiled. "You certainly seem energetic today, Chisa."  
  
She laughed. "I'm in a good mood. I think it's the adrenaline. I almost got caught by a guard while I was in a banned area. It was really scary! So, are you going to teach me the sword or not?"  
  
"Yes, of course. But first, I have something to talk to you about." He sat under the tree and motioned for Chisa to sit next to him.  
  
"Mmm?" Chisa cocked her head, animal-like, and then sat down. "What's up, Sei-chan? Is something wrong?"  
  
"No, nothing's wrong. Just…if the emperor chose you to be his empress, what would you tell him?"  
  
Chisa punched absentmindedly at a tree branch hanging in front of her face. "I'd tell him no way in hell. Besides, my heart belongs to another."  
  
"Oh…" Hotohori's heart sank. "And who w-" He was cut off by Chisa's lips being pressed against his. Eternity stretched out in front of the two until, reluctantly, Chisa broke off the kiss. "Guess," she teased, smiling mischievously. Hotohori replied with a kiss of his own.  
  
When the second kiss ended, Chisa asked, "So, how about that sword fighting lesson?" eyeing Hotohori's sword.  
  
Hotohori had to laugh. Leave it to Chisa to switch attentions so easily. "Yes, of course." He took the sword from its scabbard. "I only have my sword right now, but I will have a practice sword forged for you soon." He handed the sword, then carefully her fingers so she had the right grip. "This is how you hold the sword, with this finger here, and this finger here. The correct foot position is like this…"  
  
~**~  
  
"Kishuku-chan! Kishuku-chan!" Chisa ran to her childhood friend's quarters, so excited she almost ran right past it. "Kishuku-chan, I'm in love!" Her heart was so full of joy she wanted to run throughout the entire palace, singing every love song she knew, which was quite a lot, at top volume.  
  
Tamahome looked up from his money counting. "Hmm? What did you just say, Chisa?"  
  
The blonde girl ran over to hug him. "I'm in live, Kishuku! I've found my soulmate! At sixteen, I've met the man I want to spend my entire life with!  
  
Tamahome smiled. "Good for you. So you've finally found someone who's into the tomboy type?"  
  
Chisa growled and kicked him in the thigh, knocking him down. "I'm not a tomboy! I'm perfectly delicate and feminine!"  
  
Tamahome looked at her wryly. "Delicate and feminine. Sure, Chisa. Whatever you say."  
  
Chisa grinned. "Okay so maybe 'delicate' and 'feminine' aren't the best words to describe me. But Ki-chan," she asked, looking up through her eyelashes, "don't you find me at least a little bit attractive?"  
  
Tamahome gulped. Chisa suddenly looked very, *very* pretty. "Um, well…that is…"  
  
Chisa burst out laughing. "The look on your face is priceless, Kishuku- chan! I'm gonna remember that for a long time!" Tears were practically running down her face, she was laughing so hard.  
  
Tamahome turned red. "That wasn't funny!" he shouted.  
  
Chisa nodded. "Yes it was, Kishuku. Positively hilarious, actually. But in all seriousness, I want you to meet this guy. I value your opinion, and I'd like to hear it.  
  
"Of course, Chisa. Of course, I'm going to be forced to beat the crap out of him if he doesn't deserve you." He grinned when Chisa made a face at him. "Besides, I have some friends I'd like you to meet."  
  
"Why not? I'd like to meet some of your friends. Well, I'm going to go steal some food from the kitchens. I'm *starving*. I'll talk to you later!"  
  
"See ya," Tamahome replied as Chisa ran off.  
  
~**~  
  
That night in the dorm, Chisa was dreamily brushing her hair – well, as dreamily as is possible when you're constantly wincing in pain because your hair is an impossibly thick tangle – when one of the servants assigned to her walked in. "Oh, hello, Leilan," Chisa greeted the girl. Leilan dropped her basket in surprise, both at the unwonted greeting and the sight of her charge brushing her hair. "Is something wrong, Leilan?"  
  
"Oh, nothing, Miss." Leilan recovered and picked up her basket. "Just doing my job."  
  
"And you certainly do it well! Here, a reward for you hard work." Chisa tossed her a gold coin.  
  
Leilan stared helplessly first at Chisa, then at the gold coin in her hand. "Miss…are you feeling alright?"  
  
"Yes, of course I do. Why do you ask? Do I look ill?"  
  
"No, no, ma'am. It's nothing at all. Goodbye, Miss." With that, the servant girl scurried out of the room as fast as her legs could carry her.  
  
Chisa frowned after her. "Strange person," she muttered, and returned to brushing her hair. 


	4. An *introduction* and a tragic past

Author's notes: YAY!!! Another three reviews!! Thank you, Rania and Ryoko- onee!! And yeah, Chisa-chan has a serious side (ooh… alliteration @.@). You'll get to see it. It's just that she is very rarely serious, except about a few things. But you'll get to see that later. ^_^ I think Chisa's one of my favorite OCs. Everybody! Take Rania, CLAMPraven, and Ryoko- onee's example and review! I value your opinions! Don't you feel special?  
  
  
  
Tamahome was being dragged through palace halls by Chisa. "Chisa, hold on!" he yelped as he smacked into a corner. "Do you really have to go so fast?"  
  
"It's not a matter…of having to…Kishuku…chan," she panted, slightly winded but not slowing down. "It's a matter…of wanting…to." After a few more minutes of running throughout the pavilions and various parts of the palace, dodging guards and servants, and barely missing various obstacles, such as walls, trees, etc., Chisa stopped. "We're… here," she panted. "He should be here soon." And sure enough, right at that moment, Hotohori walked up. "Seishuku!" she shouted. "I brought the guy I wanted you to meet!"  
  
"Really," Hotohori smiled. "Well, it is a pleasure to…" He stopped when he came face to face with Tamahome. "Tamahome?" He hoped that Tamahome would realize Chisa's hatred of the emperor and not call him "Your Majesty".  
  
Fortunately, Tamahome did. "Hey…Seishuku."  
  
Chisa looked at Tamahome. "You know him?"  
  
"Yeah. He was one of the first people I knew at court."  
  
"Okay, then! I guess I don't have to deal with introductions!" She produced an enormous basket filled to the brim with food. "Look what I stole from the kitchen!" Hotohori and Tamahome sweatdropped.  
  
"Isn't that a bit much, even for three people?"  
  
Chisa looked at the basket. "Mm? No, I don't think so." She split the food between them, giving herself about half of the contents of the basket. Hotohori and Tamahome sweatdropped once again.  
  
"Does she…always eat that much?" Hotohori asked Tamahome in a whisper.  
  
"No, she usually eats more. She's almost as bad as Miaka."  
  
Chisa noticed their whispers. "What are you guys saying about me?" she asked, glaring suspiciously. "I know you guys are talking about me." Then she laughed. "Forget it. Well, let's eat!"  
  
~**~  
  
"Your majesty!" A guard ran into the throne room. "There is a rapist lose in the palace. He has already raped three women."  
  
"What?!" Hotohori rose from his throne. "Make sure every woman in the palace is in her room! Double the guard around the harem's dormitories!" The guard bowed.  
  
"Yes, sir!"  
  
A minute later, a guard returned. "We have done what you told us to the best of our abilities, Majesty, but we were unable to find one woman."  
  
*Chisa!* Hotohori thought, and raced off. "Your majesty?" his attendants called after him, dumbfounded.  
  
When he reached the meadow, he spotted Chisa sitting on top of a tree, visible from the ground. "Chisa!" he shouted. "You must get to your room immediately! There is a rapist on the loose!"  
  
She looked down at him. Her eyes were pensive, sad, and angry at the same time. She returned to staring into space.  
  
"Chisa, did you hear me?" Hotohori clambered up the tree. "I said, you must return to your room!"  
  
"I am a rape-child," she said. Hotohori grew quiet. "My mother was a court lady, called the most beautiful person in the empire. She was considered for marriage to the emperor. Then…then one day, she was raped. The emperor cared for her, until it was discovered she was pregnant. Then he exiled her from court, sending her to live in poverty on the outskirts of the empire.  
  
"She gave birth to me, and cared for me, but her health was ruined, and we didn't have enough money to be able to afford a healer. She died just before I turned one year old. I was sent to live with my uncle, who was a drunk and abused me. He gave me this scar," she pointed to a small scar on her cheekbone, "and this." She pointed to another along her hairline.  
  
"When I was four, I had had enough. I ran away, and I was taken in by a family unable to have children. I also befriended their neighbors, a family with a son named Kishuku, who was destined to become the Suzaku seishi Tamahome. Kishuku was learning martial arts from a Byakko seishi, and I convinced him to teach me as well.  
  
"I enjoyed life with my surrogate families, but I still suffered. My poverty, the death of my mother, all the pain I went through at the hands of my uncle; I blamed them all on one man: the emperor. It was *he* who exiled my mother for no fault of her own; it was *he* who took all of our money. It was entirely his fault. I swore I would hold a grudge against him for my entire life, and against all his successors." Tears had been welling up for this entire story, and they finally spilled over. She tried to dam them, but Hotohori just held her and said, "Don't be afraid to cry. You have every reason to." Chisa buried her face in his broad shoulder, and loud sobs tore themselves from her throat.  
  
End notes: Yeah, I know. Short chapter, but I wanted to end it here. You can flame me for such a short chapter, I don't give a damn. 


	5. An interlude and a revelation

Author's notes: This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend Sakura-chan, whose birthday is today, January 20th! And I have *another* fabulous gift for her, other than that beautiful AMG wall scroll I gave her! *pulls out a huge box on wheels, having a lot of trouble*  
  
Sakura-chan: WOW! That's big! Why don't you just get Nuriko to carry for you?  
  
Lady Sage: Heh heh…you'll see. *hands her an end of the ribbon* Pull this.  
  
*Sakura-chan pulls the ribbon, and the box falls apart to reveal the entire male cast of Fushigi Yuugi in Speedos*  
  
Sakura-chan and Lady Sage: Ooooh…Speedos… *large puddles of drool*  
  
Chiriko: *raises hand* Um…  
  
Lady Sage: Yeah?  
  
Chiriko: *pleadingly* Can I leave…please?  
  
Lady Sage: Sure. You can leave.  
  
*all of the guys try to sneak off*  
  
Lady Sage: Nuh-uh! The rest of you have to stay! You can only leave with my blessing*evilly* The party's just started. *reveals that they are all on a small island surrounded by water*  
  
*a look of terror dawns in the eyes of all the guys except Tasuki*  
  
Tasuki: (#&^ this! LEKKA SHIENEN!!!! *evaporates the water and walks away, as all the guys follow*  
  
Lady Sage: *falls to knees* Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! *gets up* Wanna go watch Rayearth OAV?  
  
Sakura-chan: *sweatdrop* Ano…okay…  
  
Lady Sage: *starts walking across where the water *used* to be* Now that Clef…in the OAV, that is…he's a *real* man, not like those wimps who just ran away from us like that. And Eagle…*sigh* Ohmygod, he is so hot. Not to mention Lantis…  
  
  
  
Hotohori was shocked at what Chisa had told him. The pain she must have endured in her life, the bitterness she felt…and most of all, he was shocked at the coldness and cruelty his father exhibited. How could he have done something so coldhearted, so unfeeling? How could this be?  
  
Chisa sighed. "Ugh, now I feel like crap. I need to distract myself, or I'll get depressed. You know Kishuku right? He didn't even realize I was a girl until puberty hit us. Here, I'll tell you about the time he actually found out I was a girl…  
  
~Flashback mode~  
  
Tamahome, age 13, was practicing his martial arts when he heard a noise in the bushes. He paused. "Who's there?" he shouted, ready to defend himself.  
  
"Kishuku-chan!" Chisa, age 12, launched herself at her friend and knocked him over. She glomped onto his back and refused to let go. "Practicing again?"  
  
Tamahome didn't respond. He was sure he felt something that was not quite right… He turned around and poked Chisa in the chest. Yes! There it was. He couldn't believe it, though! He had known Chisa for so long, but he had never known this. He wasn't snapped out of his daze until Chisa shouted, "YOU PERVERTED ASSHOLE BASTARD FRICKING FREAKING FRACKING IDIOTIC MORONIC GEEKY STUPID DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" punctuating each word with a punch to the face.  
  
"Um, Chisa…are you growing…breasts?"  
  
Chisa looked at him as if he were a moron. "Yeah, that's usually what happens to girls my age."  
  
"Y-you're a girl!" Tamahome blithered, shocked.  
  
"No ($&^, Sherlock's ex-girlfriend (AN: sorry, an inside joke I couldn't resist). You just figured that out?"  
  
"Yep!" Tamahome laughed embarrassedly. "I always thought you were a guy!"  
  
Chisa glared. "And why in the world I be a guy? All guys are idiots! I would rather die than be a stupid guy like you!" She was halfway into a fighting stance.  
  
Tamahome realized what kind of mood she was in. "You know, you're right. You would never be a guy. You're just too kind and sweet and wonderful and beautiful and, um, bye!" With that, he turned tail and ran.  
  
  
  
"Sire!" A guard came running. "We have captured the perpetrator. He is now in the dungeons."  
  
Chisa, through her haze of pain and hurt, heard what Hotohori had been called. "Sire?" She looked up at him, studying him. Now that she thought about it, it was true. His expressions, the way he talked, the way he acted…they all had a regal bearing about them. Rage and hate welled up in her, now combined with a broken heart.  
  
"You…" she snarled. "You BASTARD!" She jerked herself out of her arms, forcing him away from her. She was almost animal-like in her rage, with her lips curled and her eyes filled with fire…and tears. "How DARE you?" she screamed. "All that time, you never told me! DIE!" She pulled a knife out of her trousers and launched herself at Hotohori.  
  
She slashed him in several places before anyone realized what was happening. Even then, Hotohori just stood there, making no move to resist or protect himself, his eyes sorry and filled with pain and sadness. Chisa was almost totally unaware of what she was doing; knowing only that she wanted to injure him, hurt him as he had hurt her. Blood dripped to the ground, but she felt no remorse. In fact, in the maniac state she was in…she was glad.  
  
~**~  
  
The guard was panicked. He was young, and new to the job. He was frightened, unsure of what to do. He didn't see a heartbroken, betrayed teenage girl and an equally pained, heartbroken young man. What he saw was a threat to his emperor. So he mustered up his courage and did what he was trained to do.  
  
Chisa fell to the ground, eyes wide and staring, with the young guard's short sword going straight through her middle, buried hilt deep.  
  
  
  
Ending notes: This chapter is short, too! I dunno, but I've had a thing about suspenseful endings lately. Don't worry; this isn't the end of the story. Would I kill off one of my favorite characters?  
  
People who have read her fanfics before: YES!  
  
Lady Sage: Ano…I guess I do kind of have a reputation… *takes a heroic stance* But never fear! This fic shall continue! 


	6. A frightening time and a wedding

Author's notes: Wow…Last chapter… *gets all nostalgic and emotional* I can remember when I first got the idea for this fic. It was a few months ago. I was in school and… *looks around to see everyone around her falling asleep* FINE! Be that way! But I will force you all to listen to it eventually! *sticks out tongue* But anyway, I read the reviews. People are getting worried about Chisa! I'm so touched! To me, it's a *really* good sign when people get all sniffly over my fics. It's a sign that I'm evoking emotion, and it makes me feel connected to the reader.  
  
  
  
Hotohori watched in horror as Chisa fell to the ground. "Suzaku…Please…don't let her die before I can get her to Mitsukake. PLEASE, Suzaku!" Hurriedly, he tore strips from his robes and bandaged the girl. Weakened, he fell as well. The guard rushed over to help.  
  
"Your Majesty! We must get you to a healer!"  
  
"No. Take me to my chambers…as well as…the girl… Call for the seishi known as Mitsukake." He was barely conscious as the guard rushed him and Chisa to his chambers.  
  
~**~  
  
All of the Suzaku Seishi were in Hotohori's chambers, watching as Mitsukake healed Hotohori. "Jeez…why'd you let that little bitch do that to you?" Tasuki asked.  
  
Tamahome, whose nerves were on edge already, had had enough out of Tasuki. "Shut up, you bastard! Don't you dare say things like that about Chisa! If you do, I'll kick your ass!"  
  
"I didn't want to hurt her. She wasn't in her right mind, and besides, I love her," Hotohori informed them, wincing slightly as Mitsukake healed a nasty slice that went all the way through his cheek.  
  
Tasuki looked at him, dumbfounded, and shook his head. "Whatever. You people are just nuts." (AN: He's hardly one to talk! ^_~)  
  
Miaka spoke up, "Mitsukake, you already healed her, right? So when will she wake up?"  
  
Mitsukake shook his head. "I've healed the wound in her body, but she's hurt in her soul as well. I can't do anything about that. It's all up to her now."  
  
For the next few days, Hotohori stayed by her side, never leaving. He refused to sleep, and he only took food and water because of the coaxing and pleading of his friends. He would sit there all day, holding her hand, slowly stroking it with his thumb. Her hands… he loved her hands. They were large and strong, with calluses from training, almost like a man's, but at the same time, delicate and soft. A person's hands can be a reflection of a person's true self, and he felt that they truly were for Chisa.  
  
~**~  
  
Chisa felt warm and safe, like she was wrapped in a large, soft blanket. She was so cozy; she doubted she ever wanted to leave. She snuggled in deeper. She looked up, and saw a small patch of light, about the size of a silver dollar. From that light came voices. "Hotohori-sama…" "Heika- sama…" Ah. They were talking about Seishuku. As she listened, she heard some familiar voices, like the ones of Kishuku and Miaka. Then she realized: *That patch of light is life. It's consciousness. If I'm to return to consciousness, then I have to go to the light.*  
  
She scowled. She didn't *ever* want to go back! What was life anyway? Nothing but pain and hurt, heartbreak and grief. Down here, she felt warm, and safe. This place was painless. Nothing could hurt her here. So why go back to the pain? She watched as the light shrank to size of a quarter.  
  
*But what about the pleasure?* a voice inside of her asked. Her expression softened. *Yes, what about all the fun times? Those carefree childhood days with Kishuku, the love she shared with Seishuku? What about those parts of life in the light? Didn't they feel good?*  
  
Yes, they were good. They were nice. She liked those. But still! The pain outweighed the pleasure by much too far! The light shrank to the size of a dime.  
  
*The others endure their pain. What about you? Are you too weak?* This made Chisa think. It was true. Kishuku had endured just as much pain in his life, with the death of his mother and the poor health of his father. He had grown up far too fast, as do many children of poverty. And Seishuku – maybe it *was* unfair to blame him for his father's transgressions. The life of an emperor wasn't easy, after all. And it must be lonely, with no one seeing you as a human, only as an icon. And Miaka was the Suzaku no Miko. Torn away from everything familiar and thrown into an at times frightening, dangerous place.  
  
*And what about the pain you are causing them right now?* Chisa lowered her head, feeling ashamed. How selfish she was being. They were probably so worried about her now. How could she just lie there, while the others wondered if she would ever come out to live with them again?  
  
Those people…they all felt pain, but they managed to live and love. They cried and suffered heartbreak, but they could still laugh. Why should she just give in when things got tough for her? *That's it, I'm coming out!* Chisa thought. *I'm sick of this guilt trip. Everyone…just wait a little longer!*  
  
~**~  
  
Hotohori tried not to doze off, but he was so tired. *No! I must stay awake for Chisa!* But every second was a struggle for consciousness. His eyelids drooped shut. *No… Chisa…* He felt a cool hand on his cheek.  
  
A voice whispered, "Seishuku-kun…"  
  
"Chisa? I must be dreaming." Hotohori wanted to believe it, but couldn't. He looked at her, to see her with her eyes open, gently smiling.  
  
"No, Seishuku-kun. You're awake…and so am I."  
  
He pulled her to him. Tears were in his eyes. "Chisa…I love you. Will you please be my empress?"  
  
Chisa smiled into his shoulder. "Yes, I will. Gladly, Seishuku-sama. Gladly."  
  
~**~  
  
Chisa looked in the mirror. "I'm beautiful," she whispered in awe. She had spent hours being poked and prodded by seamstresses, forced to stand sta 


	7. Epilogue: A wedding

Author's Notes: This was *supposed* to be part of the last chapter! ARGH! Stupid ff.net! Anyway, I'm just calling this an epilogue now. Thanks for reading! Check my profile constantly for new fics! TTFN!  
  
  
  
Chisa looked in the mirror. "I'm beautiful," she whispered in awe. She had spent hours being poked and prodded by seamstresses, forced to stand stock-still. But now that she saw herself in the mirror, wearing her wedding clothes, she realized it was beautiful.  
  
Hotohori appeared in the doorway. He, too, looked gorgeous in his robes. His outward appearance was calm, but his eyes betrayed that he was nervous. "Chisa, you look gorgeous. In fact, as gorgeous as I do."  
  
Chisa facefaulted, but went to greet her groom. "Yes, I do. Nervous?" She laughed when Hotohori shook his head nervously. "Liar. I gotta admit, I'm feeling butterflies myself. I never imagined that I would be *empress*. Actually, I did have that dream once, but it was a nightmare." She laughed again, and then grew apprehensive. "Do…do you think it'll be hard?"  
  
Hotohori only smiled. "Maybe. The life of an emperor certainly isn't easy. But now I'll have you." He looked into her eyes. "I love you, Chisa." He kissed her.  
  
At that time, one of the palace stewards came in. "Your Majesty, it's time for the wed… erm, please excuse me sire!" He bowed and left.  
  
They watched him run off. Chisa laughed, then smiled nervously. "I guess it's time to go. Well then, shall we be off?" And they left to get married.  
  
Ending notes: WOW! I actually finished! I had no idea how this fic would end when I started. I just had a few basic ideas of what I wanted to happen. Some of them did happen, some didn't. For example, the scene where Chisa finds out Hotohori is the emperor was completely different. And I was imagining her running and crying, not going into a blind rage and attacking him. The one thing I was entirely positive of at the beginning was what Chisa would be like, and her relationships with the other characters. I tossed the idea around when I first got into Fushigi Yuugi, but I didn't know enough at first to write anything. Now I'm a full- fledged obsessee, so I finally got going.  
  
I'd like to thank everyone who read, especially those who wrote reviews. I'd like to thank my friend Sakura-chan for obsessing when I told her about the first chapter, which made me feel encouraged enough to go on to the end. And most of all, I'd like to thank the cast!  
  
Chisa: It was nothing. I had lots of fun!!  
  
Hotohori: Yes. I also appreciate that you made the most beautiful character in the show the main focus of the fic, and I'm sure the readers did, too.  
  
Drooling Hotohori fangirls: Yes, we do! Hiiiiiii, Hotohori-sama!! *Hotohori turns and waves to his adoring fans*  
  
Tamahome: It was cool. Am I gonna get paid?  
  
Lady Sage: Um, no.  
  
Tamahome: You suck.  
  
Lady Sage: Yeah. Sucks like Katy! (Inside joke!)  
  
Tasuki: What the )*^% is up with you giving me such a *^)$ing tiny part? I deserve more than that!  
  
Drooling fangirls #2: Yes, you do! Hiiiiiiii, Tasuki! *Tasuki turns and waves to his adoring fans*  
  
Lady Sage: Are you sure? *hands him a bottle of sake*  
  
Tasuki: Never mind! *happily sucks up sake*  
  
Lady Sage: If you've actually sat through this meaningless drivel, congratulations! You have my eternal thanks! 


End file.
